100 Monologues – Monologue #49: Heartbroken

100 Monologues is a project where I’m writing monologue scripts, performing, and filming the pieces. Since I’m beginning to dabble in acting, the project is meant as a means for me to acquire more acting experience where I can work on refining my craft. You can find out more about the project here.

Below is the script from the “Heartbroken” monologue. If you’re a student who would like to perform this monologue for class, just make sure you credit me, Maggie Coyle, as the author. For any other use of the script, please contact me.

100 Monologues: #49 Heartbroken

I had been with Jacob for nearly a decade. We had celebrated holidays together. He had seen my full range of emotion—sadness, anger…joy. We had grown together, I had thought. But then one day, he told me he no longer loved me. I was devastated.

For weeks I just felt that pain. I drank heavily in hopes to distract myself. I wept openly in front of my friends. I’d play sad, sappy love songs late at night and would just lose it. I was in mourning. Losing a love that I had in my life for so long, felt a lot like losing someone who had died. And I suppose someone, or more like something did die—his love for me.

It took me months to realize that he did me a favor by breaking my heart. I had settled for him – he really wasn’t that great for me. He never made me feel pretty—he was constantly checking out other women. He was rarely there for me—he worked long hours, coming home around 2 or 3 am in the morning. And most importantly, I kept secrets from him. It was hard for me to tell him things, which I feel like was a sign that we were doomed.

I guess when you’re in a relationship, you lie to yourself sometimes to make it work. Jacob leaving me was a gift in many ways. Mainly because I realized I had lost myself in the relationship. And although it will take years to mend from the heartbreak, I’m glad I finally found myself again.

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